IN HONOR OF WOMENS DAY

There have been many events that have taught me about life that aren’t really spoken about. For instance, as a BLACK Woman in America, the way to receive respect is to be powerful for one, but to also have our hair done, work harder for less, respect those who may not respect you, if you are skinny, people automatically favor you. These standards should not make up our society. As was said by character Maddie played by Alexa Demie in Euphoria, “90% of life is confidence, and the great thing about it is nobody knows if it’s real or not.”

But why do we allow these factors to determine our lives? We are women. In honor of women’s day I want to point out the negatives and replace it with POSITIVES. One day, hell one MONTH is not enough to honor how amazing we are and also how unappreciated we are in the world. We are the reason the world continues to grow and we are not honored for the many issues we deal with in our reproductive life. Often times, we have to deal with it and are seen as useless for not being able to bear a child as if that is our only mission in this world. We do keep the world going, however, we are entitled to have our own lives outside of motherhood and being a wife. Too many of us lose ourselves living in the shadows of society and meeting their standards. This is based off what I have witnessed because I have no children. My mom friends are so worried about their child’s life and don’t even think twice about their own forgetting that without their health, there isn’t much they can do as a mother. This makes me think about all the health issues I’m already dealing with myself and how it affects me now and how badly it’ll get in the future. Sometimes we focus so much on creating a child, having a family and being loved before we live for ourselves and in the end of it all, we have no idea who WE are as individuals because we have spent so much of our time living for others and not ourselves.

In August of 1920, the 14th amendment was ratified and allowed women to work. I’m asking the women who are moms now, how would you have felt if your only goal was to be a housewife and mother?(I am not knocking the women who are able to enjoy this luxury, that’s OKAY if this is something that you decide to do) How would you have felt if this was the means of life we lived in today, would that work for you? Why are we slaves to men who are supposed to love us, and jobs that are supposed to have us at our best interest? But why don’t we try to work and contribute to the world now that we have that “right” to do so? Why do we complain about it when at some point we didn’t really have to? People of our past worked tirelessly to allow women to have the right to work, to vote, to have a voice! Yet, we still assume we should speak less and not overreact. We shouldn’t be angry, we shouldn’t talk back, we should submit and not have our own feelings and thoughts. I’m here to say live proudly and be who YOU ARE. Life is far too short to be unhappy and settling for situations we are no longer fond of.

Why do we tear each other down? As women, we should be able to come together and encourage each other to continue pushing for the life we dream about every single day. We constantly compete over who looks better, who dresses better, over MEN(of all damn things), who has more money, who can do hair better. Too much comparison and not enough uniqueness. There are women who work overtime to ruin another women’s lives! I mean, you’d think since we already deal with hate in the world already that we would try better to be there for each other, but unfortunately that is not the way it works. Instead, life is hard in every aspect including socialization. I’ve always been the woman who deals with the envious people in my life. I always struggled keeping friendships and I never understood why because I love every person who enters my life. (Im naturally a LOVER) Learn to love the people who love you more! Hold on to them and let someone know today that you appreciate them for being in your life!

When it comes to more respect for women who are fit and have their hair done, this is coming from a BLACK woman who stayed on top of this for many years the best I could until I couldn’t. I realized that people are much more nicer to you when you show that you care about and for yourself. What about those days where we are feeling down? Those days where we can barely get ourselves out of the bed? Why are we expected to continuously show up in our best looks at all times just to have a little more respect? We should try being a more kind to the people who just aren’t in the mood to do so. We are expected to be sensitive, but not too sensitive. Successful, but not too successful. Submissive, but not co-dependent. Beautiful, but not too much. I say, we should live by being WHO we truly are, not what others think we should be! ❤️ if you are that type of person, do it for you!!! We as women did not have self-love installed in us the way it should have been to the people we looked up to growing up.(some people are lucky enough to have that, but most of us aren’t) We learned that the goal is to be married, have kids, go to school, find a career, buy a home and cherish your family you have created and if you are one of the lucky people who have the family you came from still in your life, to cherish them! That last part is a must, but everything else shouldn’t be the main goal and we shouldn’t feel bad if we don’t have it at a certain age. Speaking for myself, I have so many days where I wished I did things differently, but all we have is the future to change ourselves around and create the life we want for ourselves NOT what our boyfriends/girlfriends want, not what our family wants, not what society wants, but us! BE ON A MISSION EVERYDAY TO CREATE ETERNAL JOY AND PEACE INTO YOUR LIFE.

HAPPY WOMENS DAY/MONTH !!

BUT IM SURE YOU ALL WILL AGREE, WE DESERVE MORE THAN A DAY, A MONTH, A YEAR, WE DESERVE EVERLASTING LOVE, CARE, AND HONOR. ❤️

HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS OF SOME POWERFUL A$$ WOMEN👏🏾

Elizabeth Stanton and Susan B. Anthony were women and African American rights activists in the 19th century. ❤️

Michelle Obama our Former Mrs. 1st lady of the years 2009-2017❤️ she is the reason kids eat healthy now in schools and gave us workout tips and is a WOMENS and African American activist, writer, boss 👏🏾

Hunger Games and recent movie “Don’t Look Up” star Jennifer Lawrence. She is heavy on loving yourself and being who you are. Every movie she stars in always has a deeper meaning.

RIRI IS A BILLIONAIRE, WOMEN AND SELF-LOVE ACTIVIST, SINGER AND OWNER OF SAVAGE X FENTY A LINGERIE LINE FOR SIZES OF ALL WOMEN HUNNY POP OFF✨

P!NK shows us that we can balance a life as an entertainer and still maintain a healthy family life.👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Mackenzie Scott has donated billions of dollars to colleges who serve low income students and HBCUs. She is also the former wife of Amazon’s former CEO Jeff Bezos.

SERENA AND VENUS WILLIAMS are the most powerful athletes ever and are known for coming from a very tough background in the notorious city of Compton, CA.

REFERENCES:

https://www.archives.gov/historical-docs/19th-amendment

https://www.biography.com/activist/harriet-tubman

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a38957619/0001-0179-origin-story-march-2022/

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm2225369/

https://www.vogue.com/article/7-things-to-know-about-philanthropist-mackenzie-scott

https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/politics/michelle-obama-makes-her-first-in-person-appearance-since-covid/%3famp=true

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Susan-B-Anthony

https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/elizabeth-cady-stanton

https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/parents/pregnant-rihanna-asap-rocky-shop-kids-clothing-baby-dior-paris/%3famp=true

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/pink-net-worth-2017-10%3famp

NO MANDATED VACCINES

Hi guys. For those of you who do not believe in mandating the vaccine, PLEASE take the time out to PETITION AGAINST THE MANDATE VACCINE. Because of this mandate, the mortality rate for vaccinated and non-vaccinated will be high in the near future. The vaccinated because of all those boosters of more Covid into your body. And non-vaccinated for unrelated reasons such as financial, depression, and suicide. Having this mandate has put a huge burden on people who are considered “low class” Its affecting the education of our fellow students. It’s affecting young adults in good health from attaining a good paying job. Times are already hard enough right now because of inflation! They fire us because we don’t want to take a shot, and then peak the prices of everything. Do ya not see what they are trying to do here!? It is worse than you think now, but in the future it’s only going to get worse! Please, don’t fall into the trap of getting the shot because “it lowers the chances of contracting and passing the virus” it is not OUR job as the non-vaccinated to keep the VACCINATED safe. It is the VACCINES JOB TO KEEP THE VACCINATED safe‼️ that right there says enough! Sign these two petitions I have tagged below, and protect your rights as a HUMAN being to make decisions for yourself! Do not let the twisted government talk you into doing something that could potentially cause more harm!

This petition has over 600+ thousand signers already. This one was created in Barrington MA. This one is to protect the working poor, and students and young adults who do not need it. Please read and take some time to sign the declaration.

Home

This petition is for CT residents but hell even if you are not a CT resident please sign as well because you are able to! This is for people who have been working in the medical field to PROTECT us from Covid and was the most at risk and STILL most of them are healthy and some of them did not even contract the virus by merely sanitizing and keeping everything CLEAN AND DISINFECTED. That’s all it takes. Social distance, and keeping everything clean.

https://www.ctramm.com

Misery loves company!

…For as long as I could remember I have been in a relationship. I mean I started dating at 14 and literally have had a boyfriend ever since. I was a serial lover. I would be single for a few months maybe a year but every time I was miserable. Truly, nothing feels better than love to me. I am a terrible hopeless romantic. Well I was until I got my heart torn out of my chest twice in a two year span. Both by the only men I’ve ever really loved. Childhood lover and my adult love. Now that I am older, wiser, and went through my heart break, I know what I want and I know what I need and I refuse to settle for any less. Some people, like myself, struggle with being alone. I realized I’m not really going to change if I keep relying on others for my happiness and to feel whole. Clearly, I have DADDY ISSUES! Well now, I am in therapy, I have hella doctors for my medical reasons, and I’m getting shit together little by little. When you’re alone you give yourself a chance to learn yourself again. You give yourself a chance to love again, but not just other people, you learn to love YOURSELF. & HUNNY nothing is better than knowing your self worth, getting a bag, and relying on yourself! When you have everything in tact, you don’t need anyone in ya life. Everyone becomes bait or a liability. A strong person changes for no one unless it’s their choice to do so, NOT someone else’s. Don’t ever catch yourself making yourself uncomfortable to make someone else comfortable. Nothing is worse than holding back what you feel. Don’t ignore what you feel, don’t ignore your instinct. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without shame from yourself and others.

I haven’t wrote in awhile I know. I have so much going on as I noted above I have mad doctors I see on a regular basis, I am a full time student and employee, I’m trying to start a small business, working on my mental health, trying my best to be a good friend and girlfriend. I am thankful and grateful to be where I am today. Of course it could be better, but we don’t receive the blessings that are meant for us if we are always stuck on what’s negative in our lives. Focus on what you have now, and good faith and hard work will bring an abundance of attributes to your life. Those dreams aren’t just dreams, it’s the life you were born to live. Don’t give up on yourself. You are the only person who can change your situation. Stay prayed up always! & remember “NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES EASY.” -Theodore Roosevelt. ❤️

DISCIPLINE🙇🏽‍♀️

🧚🏾‍♀️ It took me years to learn discipline. Most likely people would say it took them years to master it, but I haven’t mastered it because I am still learning about myself and about DISCIPLINE everyday. I was listening to my affirmations one morning and something I heard that stuck with me was “once you master discipline, the rest of your life balances out.” This is so true. For me, it started with quitting my nasty habit of cigarettes. I was still considered in the early stages of my addiction so that means it would be a breeze to quit. It wasn’t. You know you have those moments where you stop for a week or maybe even 3 weeks to a month and you’re told once you get past those first 3 days you can keep going. Maybe all of that is true, but in order to really stop is having discipline and setting goals for yourself. Really believe that you can quit and go from there. I started my habit when I was 17. I was working at Waffle House. (If you know you know hunny) and everybody who worked there was a smoker so it’s easy to pick up a habit if you’re young, easily influenced and it’s always around you. I always looked down on my mom for being a pack a day smoker, so how could I have become the same way? Mom quit with chantex, I went cold turkey. She admires the fact that I was able to do so. It took a lot of judgmental stares from my man and me just wanting better for myself and being healthier altogether. It took me til I was 23 to quit but I have been doing so good and now I am able to get my breast done, workout and breathe, and I feel healthier altogether. I started working out and I committed myself to working out 3-4 days out the week. I committed myself to drinking my smoothies Monday-Friday. I ate salads everyday for dinner for the last week but you have to start somewhere. I became a distributor for a month but decided that wasn’t for me so I let that go, but during that time I got into the habit of listening to my affirmations, writing in a grateful journal because with everything happening in life it’s easy to forget how blessed I really am. I blocked out distractions, registered my business and now I commit myself to spending at least 1-2 hours working towards anything that has to do with my business including educating myself on the steps to take to run this type of business, how to make business cards, how to create a website & everything else. What I’m saying is, discipline is going to get your foot into the door of your new life. You gotta stop living on hopes and dreams and really make that dream a reality. Literally anything you need to know is on YouTube and many people are afraid to ask questions for clarity or just to know something new. Nobody should ever be afraid of expanding their mind and becoming the best versions of themselves. ❤️

I am the chosen one

This is for all the BLACK SHEEPS in life. You know the ones who go through so much shit just to accomplish one goal. The one who keeps getting set back when you get so close to the finish line. the one who wonders what the hell they keep doing wrong to have to go through all the bs they were going through. So I am a cancer, I date a virgo(I’m a dork when it comes to astrology) he was listening to his tarot card read and it sounded like it was talking to the both of us not just him. Well it said basically what I said above, all the hardships he had been dealing with are coming to a close and the reason he was going through all that and still stayed solid was because he was the chosen one! He is the person who is supposed to break the generational curse in his family. He’s the one who is supposed to become wealthy and take care of his family. I, too, am the chosen one. I have been through more things than a normal 24 year old would go through and I still always end up coming out of it strong, well at least after I cry and ask why, lol but I always come back 10x stronger than I was before. I always have that sense to give up, but my inner voice is still strong in the background telling me to keep going. Think about something that seemed so unbearable at the time in your life and how you still overcame it even though you felt like you wouldn’t. For me, it was my eyesight. I truly felt like this is what my life was going to continue to be like so I began using my other senses to help me out. Thankfully, my eyesight is so much better because I have better doctors here in the north. I have a better healthcare plan. I have surrounded myself with people who want to help and who want to understand my condition. The first step to change is to eliminate the people who aren’t changing with you. Think about that. It’s not hard to let go of toxicity. Stop reasoning with yourself on why that person should stay in your life. The moment you get a bad feeling about something or someone, let it go because chances are it’s true. You can’t confuse anxiety with what’s really going on though. That’s where it gets tough and I know with myself I have let anxiety ruin good opportunities for me because I didn’t know how to differentiate between the two. Mind over matter always.

So if you feel like you need to give up, that’s probably because you are so close to the finish line. Literally any successful person is going to tell you, anything they have in life came with bumps, failures and doubts. Learning how to master those feelings will get you so far in life. When you feel doubtful just think about the outcome of it. Think about all the issues you have already overcome in the past that you didn’t think you would before and that will give you the fuel to KEEP PUSHING❤️

Life update

Wow it has been a minute since y’all heard from me! Life has been one hell of a roller coaster since the last time I posted. Let’s start off with a new eye condition.

In November, 2018 I lost my eyesight. At the time I was only 21 years old… imagine waking up one day and it just starts with a horrendous headache. You notice it’s not like a normal headache, but you just continue on, pop some ibuprofen and call it a day.. but then the ibuprofen wears off and that same pain comes back. I realized this pain was attacking my right eye so I went to the eye doctor, but by then it was too late. I had already had permanent vision loss within 5 days of my symptoms starting in my right eye. If I kept ignoring it, I would be blind. Eventually by mid December, I DID become blind and nobody in Indiana could give me a diagnosis. That was the scariest shit I ever had to experience and then all I had around me was my boyfriend at the time.. I was blind, broke, and had to quit school. I tried so hard not to quit school, but my vision never came back the same. I couldn’t read, write, use a computer, bathe myself, text, watch tv, enjoy nature, dress myself or do my hair. I couldn’t cook, drive, or sit outside when it was too bright because my eyes couldn’t handle it. By the grace of GOD and my powerful ass meds, my sight came back within a month and I was able to return back to work but I could only drive during the day. (I believed in god before because my mom is very religious but after this experience I TRULY never questioned it again because I know there is a God)

I was a newly promoted kitchen manager which is something I was working so hard for at chipotle and finally got it. I used to think it was because they just needed to fill that position so they chose me, but I truly EARNED it. What made me think that was when I returned back to work and nothing was the same. I could not perform the way I once did. My manager was getting upset with me about it, but he couldn’t understand. I had literally lost my damn eyesight. I was legally blind trying to run a grill and the front and back of house. Chipotle was TOUGH, but I LOVED my job. It gave me purpose and a reason to get up everyday. My manger worked with me until he didn’t… it was tough having to miss work because he always gave me a hard time, but I needed to see my doctors. I don’t think that was fair. I had a doctors note for not being able to drive during the night time so I had to leave right at 3:30 everyday because you know it’s gets dark by 5 and that became an issue too because he was used to me staying however long he needed me to stay. On top of all of this, my roommate at the time who took us in because we unexpectedly got kicked out of our previous place & fired from our job, was giving us a hard time! She complained about EVERYTHING , would talk down on us and told us she used to be racist & eventually me being the person that I am with my crazy mouth I said some shit she didn’t like and got us kicked out right after paying our part of the rent! I should of stayed considering I had already paid her, but I just packed my shit up in the middle of the night while my man was at work and hauled ass down the street to his job. I couldn’t see because I shouldn’t of been driving at night and an 18 wheeler on the other side of the road, yes I was on the other side of the road and didn’t know it, almost hit me head on… When I got to the job, He was so upset, but I didn’t care I wasn’t going to be talked down to any longer. I was upset about the fact that I couldn’t have my pit there either on top of her disrespect. She claims he bit her granddaughter while we were at work and I had to get him a sitter. So now we were homeless, living paycheck to paycheck, and I was drinking everyday behind his back because I needed something to be able to tolerate the issue and my toxic relationship. Everything was falling apart, we kept fighting and not working as a team so I literally left. I didn’t care about the fact that if I left he would literally have no where to stay. I was supposed to move there for a better life and everything became worse. I used to think it was my karma for leaving my mom in the state that she was in. Her MS was kicking her ass and she was very poor too. I knew I needed to leave in order to get both our lives better and it ended up worse. That is just a short story of what was really going on in Indiana. It’s a racist ass state, hard to find a job and a place, and people judged me almost instantly because of the color of my skin. There were days where I didn’t even have enough money to pay a $40 co pay at the doctors office and they refused to see me! I’m losing my eyesight and was being refused for care. I was gaining massive weight from eating the Taco Bell dollar menu and the strong steroids I was on so I had to go. Nobody knew what I was dealing with so I finally opened up to my sister and she told me to leave! My cousin set up a room for me when I arrived to MA, my hometown. So I transferred my job and that was that. I’ll never go back there again. Relationship was toxic, the environment, my job, everything was toxic.

Back home in Massachusetts… on my way there I was drinking and driving, not too much but I was, and it was raining. Something told me before I left my granny’s house in Ohio that I needed to stay an extra day there but as I always do , I ignored my instinct and went anyway. I crashed my new 2015 Toyota Prius into a jeep that had the stupid tire on the back. Well my car was completely totaled 5 hours away from my destination. My uncle and my aunt Leslie had to pay over 600 to get me home in a Uber! (Thank y’all) my luck is horrible, maybe I shouldn’t of been drinking but it wasn’t that, it was because I’m blind and had no damn glasses on driving in the rain! I didn’t care though, I just wanted to get home! I did care after my car was destroyed and I just kept saying to myself “damn, how tf am I going to pay this off” the sad part is I wasn’t worried about my life, I was so deep in my depression that I was upset the accident didn’t kill me. I wanted so badly for my life to end because of all the things going on in it. My life had drastically changed within a few months span! I was overwhelmed, anxious, had a very low self esteem, and when I got back home I was hoping things would be better for me. Boy was I wrong.

I kid you not, coming home I realized how different people are. Up north people are rude, mean, entitled, and only care about themselves. Everybody cheats on each other, mad bullies, family ain’t shit. They were supposed to help me. Instead, they made me feel bad about being blind and didn’t help much. My life had changed and they weren’t understanding that. I was being talked about right downstairs from where I slept, I didn’t feel welcomed almost instantly. I worked and had other things to take care of so I kept missing the chores assigned to me, but when I would do the chores I didn’t do them good enough. I couldn’t do them perfect because again, I COULDNT SEE. My 22nd birthday was shit. My family didn’t have much interest in hanging out with me and neither did my old friends. I kept getting cussed out by my cousins, and being told about myself by mfs I haven’t spoken to in years so you don’t know shit. I almost got in a fight 3 times with the same dummy I call my cousin. I knew I had to get the fuck out of there. Luckily, my mom found a place and moved out of my uncles because he was being the same way to her. So I moved in with my mom again. With age you realize things you haven’t realized before, and I realized with my cousins they are full of drama, and with my mom she only helps when she wants to or if it’s beneficial to her. Because she had a part time boyfriend, every time he came over I had to leave of course. That’s okay, I would just go to one of my hoes or my bestie/cousin tee’s house. But eventually, mom was getting tired of me too. We were in a one bed apartment that is small so I get it. I started to become overwhelmed and unwelcome everywhere I go. I realized I couldn’t call anywhere home… in sept 2019, I ran into a man he called himself Romeo(so corny) he used to call me his Juliet. Anyway, now that’s my man. We live together and have been for over a year now and been together for almost 2 years. Things are not perfect, but I’m blessed to have a true man in my life, but every real man has some type of baggage with them. He’s the only one besides my cousin tee who understands my vision loss and works with me. He is loving, caring, keeps me secured, dependable etc. but he is also sneaky, secretive, and repetitive. What man isn’t though? The good always outweighs the bad though, so he is a whole husband. I can’t keep a job because people are envious of me and are afraid I’ll do their job better than they do, I been flying through jobs and cars and I’m just trying to get to a point in my life where I can be financially free. No path is perfect, but you won’t know until you try!

We live our lives full of doubt. We surround ourselves with people who don’t uplift us and who stay in the same boat for years, while still judging and critiquing you as if everything in their life is so perfect. There has to be a time where we just cut off all those distractions and people and completely tunnel vision our goals. I used to always be afraid of leaving people behind, but today I am NOT. When you’re betrayed a lot, you learn to let go, even if you really don’t want to. Your instinct is so STRONG. Listen to that inner voice, they won’t steer you wrong. What I learned is that your instinct is heaven sent, and the more you ignore it, the weaker it becomes. God gave you that voice so you know what decisions to make moving forward. I had to realize that I am better than what people see me as or what I may have been in the past. I’m learning to forgive myself and move on with my life fully! I’ve wasted so much time questioning everything I’ve done in my life and that ends now. I’m taking risks. I’m quitting jobs, and I’m becoming the best woman version of myself. I’m in school, I can see, I’m working out at least 3-4 days out the week, I’m saying what’s on my mind, I have glasses, I have health coverage, I have a somewhat healthy relationship, and I’m wiser and smarter. I know my worth, and I know what I am capable of! Find self love, and you will be able to conquer anything thrown at you!❤️

Just like trust, forgiveness is earned

You know what most people who are religious would say that it’s a sin to not forgive. If you forgive you’ll be closer to God. I believe in forgiving people, but I also believe that there are some things that just can’t be forgiven. Once you cross that line there’s no point in continuing a relationship with that person. And just like trust is earned so is forgiveness.. there are stages to it. First of course you go through the situation, maybe Argue back a little more, then you go through the stage of thinking about what you could of done differently. You need time to process things that’s just human nature. Then you have to learn to forgive yourself for letting things get to the point where there were words or actions done that led to this.. then you go through the process of how you’re going to talk to the person to get over this situation (if there is even a chance to) you have to talk about it. Then process the apology listen to their side of the story and even see if it’s forgivable. I think certain words and actions hurt more when you believed that person really cared about you at one point. But is this how they were thinking the whole time? Why wasn’t it addressed when the situation happened instead of waiting for other things to build up and then eventually just go off on that person? And then is it even worth forgiving at this point now that you’ve already been hurt the words have already been said.. the way I handle things is just shutting that person out completely. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to hear why you said it. And I don’t want an apology that’s not genuine. And I’m not saying that’s the way to handle things that’s just the way I do. At the end of the day we’re all adults and that’s just how you feel so I can’t change how someone feels and I definitely can’t unhear what you already said so I just let it go.

Living my life in darkness

Imagine finally getting your life together… finally getting that promotion you wanted & finally making the money to travel and finally going to school for that degree you’ve been wanting to work on after being depressed for so long… then your vision just goes. Without warning.. without a reason why… spiritually though I felt it. I felt like something was going to happen because my life was finally going back to normal. I lost my eyesight back in November. It started off with pain and seeing black specs and flashes then slowly I couldn’t see far distances. The pain started to become intolerable and that’s when I finally decided to go to the hospital. I guess I waited too long though because I began to have blurry vision. By November 30th 2018 I could no longer drive and I could no longer see my phone. Waking up and looking at your phone and it only be a white blur is the scariest feeling I’ve ever had to experience.

Moving on to December it was rough. I couldn’t do anything for myself. My boyfriend kept me in good spirits. He bathed me, fed me, clothed me, at one point he tried to do my hair. He was cleaning and running errands for me. I would be so lonely when he would go to work. He was literally the only person I could depend on in this hard place in my life, but he made it so easy. I love him. Anyway, in this place in my life it really help me realize that life can change within a blank of an eye so you have to make the best of it and appreciate what you have when you have it. And even though I’m still dealing with the eye problems I know one day it’ll get better and it didn’t stop me completely I still get to work so I’m grateful for that. I have a hard time with working still, seeing detail, driving at night, writing, or even looking at a computer or TV. I can’t see people’s faces not even when they are close to me. No one will understand what I’m going through. Hell I don’t know what I’m going through I still have yet to figure out what caused it.

Who said traveling is easy!?

So I recently went out of town. Nothing too fancy just went to go visit my family and a few friends in Ga .. 9 1/2 drive from where I’m at now to there.. every single time I travel things never go as smooth as you would like them to be. For starters, I didn’t want to drive my car. It’s not a bad car I just need my car already to go far distances.. anyway, so I tried renting a car and mind you I booked this car a week in advanced and the lady told me over the phone the price, what kind of car it is and asked my my DL # blah blah & after all that she says “thank you now all you’ll have to worry about is coming to pick the car up when it’s time for departure.” Cool. So I go down there on the morning I had to leave. I already wasn’t in the best mood because well I had to wake up at 7:30 in the morning if I wanted everything to fall into place at the right time. Packed the car up and started heading to the rental office. I get there and all of a sudden there is added fees and the wrong days were scheduled and THEN I FIND OUT I CANT use my card because it doesn’t have my name on it… why wasn’t I told this before? That was my very first question. Then I went on explaining how the lady on the phone a week ago told me I didn’t have to worry about anything but picking up my freaking car.. they would not let me get the car.. boyfriend goes in there tries to put it under his name. No because he doesn’t have his license. So I’m just sitting there like …. I’m fucked. I swore I wasn’t going to take my car through the trip again for the 4th and 5th time. So I tried calling around other places & everybody had the same rule about the card with no name blah blah blah.. sooo guess what I decided to do? F it. I’m taking my car. So I had to go to the mechanic shop .. by this time it’s about 9 in the morning. I am supposed to be leaving at 10.. by this time I already knew that I wasn’t going to make it so I just let it go. They checked my car and thankfully my car only had minor issues wrong with it like headlights and tires and an oil change. All that came up to be way cheaper than the rental so I was happy about that. By the time I got out of there it was already about to be 12.. now I’m hungry. & bae has something he needs to do.. long story short, I didn’t get on the road until 3 pm. Don’t get discouraged if your plans don’t work out because there’s always always a plan ‘B’ & ‘C’

People always tend to ask me why I work so hard…

In the past 3 years of my life since I’ve graduated high school, I have been working my ass off. I usually am used to having two jobs at a time, but then I took time off and just worked one job for 8 months and I finally picked up another job. I started on 10/6/2018 at Boston Market. & now I have been promoted to a kitchen manager at my full time job.. My body has gotten used to spending my free time in bed eating unhealthy meals and snacks or playing Sims(best virtual family game you can play). Even though I am such a natural-born hard worker, I need my beauty sleep! In just two days, I feel like an old lady. My body and my FEET were hurting terribly. I mean, what do you expect working at TWO fast pace restaurants? People always ask me how do I do it?

Well I have some answers and advice for you… don’t think about it just do it! I don’t think about having to work so much and it makes time go by faster and not only that but I am making money while I’m doing it & you have to love what you do to be able to enjoy it. Don’t worry about the fact that you’re young and you want a social life. Between the ages of 18-25 should be a time where you are getting your life together. After that is the fun. Below is a link that explains more about how you can balance everything out and still be able to stay sane.

https://books.google.com/books?id=XXGDAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA16&lpg=PA16&dq=is+it+true+that+you+are+supposed+to+be+getting+your+life+together+between+the+ages+of+18-25&source=bl&ots=2jtGmC3vmf&sig=7CBA5ZnXJEFKxPmuBBUE9W4ctaY&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiulpba1_7dAhUMr4MKHaTQBrAQ6AEwBXoECAAQAQ#v=onepage&q=is%20it%20true%20that%20you%20are%20supposed%20to%20be%20getting%20your%20life%20together%20between%20the%20ages%20of%2018-25&f=false

…My main focus right now is to keep growing. Keep learning.. & stay focused. So by the time I’m 25, I can relax and possibly start my family and not have to worry about finances or a place to stay or even a babysitter for my future kids. I will worry about a social life later on but for now I’m just trying to be great!